im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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