Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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