hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
