birth control should be required to get into college
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
