I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
