Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
