Christians are straight up FREAKS
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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