I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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