just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
