She announced her abortion via fbk
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
you didnt know i had herpes?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
