no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
they're like a gay fantastic four
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
