he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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