her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Randomize
