she was so not down for the gang bang
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
you had me at cake vodka
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
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