it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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