If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
