So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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