I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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