Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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