I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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