i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize