My first STD was from a foam party
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
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