garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
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