Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
