Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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