I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
