Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
