how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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