I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
