She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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