Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
My vagina is officially offended.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize