She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
