halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
