How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
