Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
