I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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