Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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