I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Randomize
