I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
