I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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