I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
