this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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