I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
