I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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