i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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