I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize
