I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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