i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
