Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Sext me about skeletons
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
