She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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