If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
