big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
can u get pink eye on your cock?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
