Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
