love makes seman taste better
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
