just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
