if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
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