Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Randomize
