My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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