were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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