i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
